Raising Kids & Running a Business
Raising Kids & Running a Business
027 | Business, Babies, and Building a Village with Tashana Thompson
This episode highlight’s Tashana Thompson’s experience with the intricacies of balancing motherhood and a thriving career. As the CEO of Beyond Business Solutions, Tashana’s amazing journey is definitely insightful and encouraging.
Tashana shares her journey from starting her business 16 years ago, navigating life as a bonus mom, and the challenges she faced with postpartum depression and business changes.
She also emphasizes the value of investing in coaching and delegating tasks to grow a business sustainably.
The conversation touches on the importance of having a supportive network, self-care, and realistic expectations in business and as a parent.
Highlights
- Tashana Thompson’s Early Entrepreneurial Journey: shares how she started her business, emphasizing the early challenges and the resilience needed to overcome them.
- Balancing Parenthood and Entrepreneurship: daily routine and strategies for managing the demands of being a mother and a business owner.
- Importance of Networking and Community: value of building a supportive network and connecting with like-minded entrepreneurs, especially other women.
- Collaboration Over Competition: misconception that other women are competition, with Tashana advocating for a collaborative approach and the benefits it brings.
- Strategic Help and Coaching: significance of seeking strategic help and coaching to enhance business growth and navigate the entrepreneurial landscape.
- Real-Life Stories and Personal Anecdotes: personal stories, providing relatable insights into their experiences as working mothers and entrepreneurs.
- Time Management and Prioritization: practical tips on managing time effectively, setting priorities, and maintaining a work-life balance.
- Future Collaborations and Support: focus on future collaborations and the importance of mutual support in the entrepreneurial community.
Connect with Tashana Thompson online:
Connect with Kate Christy:
Kate Christy: I'm your host, Kate Christie. And today I'm sitting down with Tashana Thompson. Hi, Tashana. How are you doing today? I'm doing wonderful. How are you? I am lovely. I'm so happy to be sitting here chatting with you and learning more about you, your story, sharing your story with all the listeners. So before we get into all the nitty gritty details of what it looks like behind the scenes to be a mom and be a woman in the working world, tell us a little bit about you, who you are, your backstory.
Give us all the details so we can kind of get a big picture of who you are and what you do.
Tashana Thompson: Absolutely. First of all, thank you so much for having me. I'm super excited to be with you. Tashauna Thompson. I'm the CEO of Beyond Business Solutions, and we are a 16 year old branding, marketing and visibility agency, specifically helping women led organizations.
So both small businesses and nonprofits, and we do some awesome work there. I am a mom. I am wife. We're going to be celebrating our seventh anniversary next month. And I'm mom of a bonus kids and blended family. So that's been an interesting journey as well. So I'm really excited to be with you.
Kate Christy: Yeah, I'm excited to have you.
So talk a little bit more about your blended family. So you've been in business, what did you say, 16 years?
Tashana Thompson: 16 years. It's our 16th year. Yep.
Kate Christy: Exciting. so you started your business and then became a mom to a bonus kid before you had your own business. Yes.
Tashana Thompson: Thrown into the depths of fire, a bootcamp of motherhood, right?
Kate Christy: Yeah. what did that transition look like stepping into that role? Because that's a little bit different than, having, I mean, I guess there was processing period, right? Of, you know, I'm acquiring this child.
Tashana Thompson: Not much. my husband and I, met, Online and he was living in a different state and he moved here.
we moved really, really quickly. Like we're like poster children of what not to do. so, my stepson came to live with us. Early, early in our relationship, like less than a year into our relationship. And he was here with us for five years. So I just was totally naive about what motherhood would look like at all.
Well, not totally at all, but from the sense of being a bonus mom and what my role should be. thank God he's well adjusted just graduated from high school and all that now. But, I mean, we made a lot of mistakes in terms of me really being the one that was with him. Primarily my husband was working nights and, he really didn't know me.
He didn't get a chance to really know me before I was mom. And I know how to be a mom cause I was raised really well. And my mother's loves and nurtures me. And she still does. She still lives with us. Whole nother conversation. which is awesome for us. So I knew that, but I was trying to come into a situation and give this rearing and love and nurture.
And this baby didn't ask for that. Right. So it was a tough few years. In terms of, , figuring out what my role was and how do we make this family work?
Kate Christy: Yeah. Cause when you have a baby with someone, there's a whole lot of time up front before they're cognizant of what mom and dad are doing right and wrong.
Right. And so you're building this relationship. A nine year old
Tashana Thompson: that comes into your household and, you have, a different set of expectations than, know, maybe the previous, what they're used to growing up with. And, there's just all types of room for interesting outcomes.
Kate Christy: Yeah. Yeah.
So you said that your, mom lives with you. Cause one of the things that I love to talk with all the moms on this podcast about is what does your support system look like? you make Whatever happens, whether you're killing it, whether you're just getting by like, but how do you make all of it happen on a day to day basis?
And mean, I wish my mom lived with me because I feel like I would be able to accomplish so much. My mom and I
Tashana Thompson: are incredibly close. I'm her only child. We've always been together and, I just have an awesome support system for both my mom, my husband, my aunts, I just have a great family and I realized that everybody doesn't have that, my mother literally makes our world go around here.
She's the den mother and, she does the shopping. She's, really serves as my PA kind of. Takes my baby to school in the morning. She picks her up most afternoons. yeah, she just handles my client relations within the business. So I couldn't do what I do as a woman, as an entrepreneur, if it weren't for having a uber supportive husband who, I hate to use the term let, so you can't see my air quotes who lets me be me.
and accepts who I am and who is a parent, who's not like observing and expecting us to have these, super traditional roles. We do have some traditional roles, but like he's involved and he's doing the things and then having my mama who, I'm tired, she'll cook, she'll go grocery shopping, she'll whatever.
He will too. Like he's doing a Sam's run right now, you know, like, it's everything. don't know how people make life happen. Without support. Yeah. In some way.
Kate Christy: Yeah. I've been having some conversations recently around how we, as a society, currently function, right? Where it's so individualized and it's even people not coupling, just being single, living by themselves, right?
And when it comes to that family, I don't know where, we made this decision that All the families needed to be cut down to like partner, partner. Right. And then children,
Tashana Thompson: but
traditionally, we, and other cultures still observe that. Right. Right. And it's like the, aunts and uncles and grandparents and grandchildren, like at multiple generations living, under one roof or, really close together.
And I think about, I'm like, why did we stop doing that? why did someone say like independence is way better? Because I think about just how much. I lean on my parents and I, too have very supportive parents and very involved parents. with my children, I have 3 kids. my brother has 2 kids and we live in the same city.
So, our parents are involved and it's, I can't imagine the opposite of that. And so I'm super thankful and grateful that I have. That type of support system too. But yeah, like someone says yeah, my mom lives with us and I'm just like, Oh my gosh, like sign me up for that. Yeah. And
you know, everyone doesn't have that relationship with their parents
That has a lot to do with it and people seeking to have their independence, which I get. And, there's a lot that, we could unpack there, but for us, it works really, really well.
Kate Christy: And you said she helps in your business too. What is that? Yeah. What does that look like? Give us a little bit of behind the curtain of your business.
Tashana Thompson: what you do, what it looks like. So, within my business, I am Giving women permission to shine, a lot of times women have specific issues when it comes to marketing themselves and creating some real visibility to increase revenue growth because we're taught that we're not supposed to beat on our chest and say, look at me, look how wonderful I am.
Right meanwhile, our male counterparts are sometimes not always not nearly as qualified and just telling you. ramp it up, like, why they're so great. so my organization really gives women, a place to be into shine and I serve as their marketing partner. Right? So I come in as our chief marketing officer and help them build some awesome strategy.
And then I have a team that helps me to implement that strategy if they choose to, they need some hands on a type of help. And I'm primarily serving organizations who don't have multimillion dollar budgets for full on marketing team. So we come in and serve as an extension of their team. So I'm able to provide again strategic support, some coaching, and those types of things through
Kate Christy: the business.
Tashana Thompson: That's
Kate Christy: amazing. Yeah. Because again, women growing up, right. It's, do a good job, but don't brag about it. Let your work speak for itself. And that is just, that's not the philosophy to live by.
Tashana Thompson: No, no, not at all. Yeah.
Kate Christy: 100%. That's really cool. And so you have a team. you're like running a full time employee operation?
Wow.
Tashana Thompson: I have some employees and some contractors, but yeah, it's my only thing. It has been for almost 17 years. So yeah.
Kate Christy: Wow. That's amazing. So day to day, then being kind of at the helm of your business, what does it look like in terms of balancing work and family life? you said your mom helps a little bit with both and you have a very supportive husband.
And so. What does that look like day to day to get it done?
Tashana Thompson: Right. So day to day, I'm a big proponent of trying to get up early before the family wakes up and having my time to myself. that's really important. And I believe it's something that everybody needs, but especially every woman needs to have time to pray, meditate, do whatever you do.
Journal. I do a lot of journaling and affirmations and those types of things. And then on the days that I work out, like we were discussing before, I'm at the gym at like 6am and I'm coming home and getting my baby ready for school. And then, on days when I have a 7am meeting, like today, my husband gets ready, and my mom takes her to school and.
I go into my work day and, I'm still doing the things like making dinner at least a couple nights a week. I'm doing it all, but while having some help, like last night, I'm cooking dinner, but my husband prepped everything, like, he made all the sides, he seasoned the steaks, like, really working together.
It's really in our household. It's about community and team and, how can we come together to, make the things that need to happen here happen. So that's what my days look like. It's like rinse and repeat. And by Friday I'm sleep at like seven 38 in the middle of movie night with my daughter.
That sounds magical. I feel like a kid every, you know, the first week of school and how on by Friday you were so exhausted that you were like, I'm like that every Friday. So,
Kate Christy: yeah, no. And you've had quite. Some time to nail down the process, navigate all that stuff. A lot of women that I'm talking to are in that first part of building a business, right?
One to five year, maybe one to seven year mark. And so you've had that time to test, to figure out what works, what doesn't work. Do you remember what it was like in the early days or like what you struggle with or what you struggle with organization?
Tashana Thompson: Every phase of your life kind of brings a reacclimation and an adjustment.
So I, when I had this business for the first about 10 years, I wasn't a mother. Right. Right. So that's a huge adjustment. so in the first few years, I think the organization, the vision, like really taking the time to set my intentions, set my vision. And, those types of things are really, really important.
I'm ashamed to say for the first several years of my business, I was working in the bed with my laptop and that's why my hips are so bad now, you know, so it's like creating some type of structure for yourself, getting dressed, but you know what, makes me feel good to put on a cute top.
I might have one, you don't know what I have on my legs, but yeah, like I said, a cute top, but whatever it is to make you in some people, that's not your thing. but whatever it is that makes you feel good in. it's going to allow you to show up as your best self do consistently do that.
Yeah.
Kate Christy: Yeah. that's something that I definitely struggle with working from home. I'll like have this inner monologue of, it's just you, like, you don't need to get dressed up. And I'm like, well, who am I getting dressed up for? Otherwise? Like it should just be me anytime I'm getting dressed up. Yeah. No.
So I love that. is something that is kind of on your non negotiables. Yeah.
Tashana Thompson: For me, I think it happened more so during COVID cause I've always been, someone that's worked from home. Mm hmm. And a ton of virtual meetings. but during COVID, I was like, okay, so we're not leaving this place.
And I never get to wear my clothes that, so, yeah.
Kate Christy: Yeah. that's a hard adjustment. I was working remotely too, pre pandemic. So I didn't feel that shut down from everything else as hard as, people who are used to going in and out of offices or things like that.
So I say that was kind of primed for a pandemic world, working from home, you know, hunched over my desk, but I was not primed for the fact that the children were here 24, seven, two. So that was a bit of a struggle. My mom was a
Tashana Thompson: big help through that. my daughter was having GG school. During the pandemic.
So that was a blessing.
Kate Christy: So what did it look like when you had your daughter in your business? talk through that process, that transition. because at that point you were super established in your business. And I know that planning to have kids, having kids, like planning maternity leave, whatever that looks like as a self employed person is a whole thing.
So what did that look like? That process for you? And. Everything unraveled when I had my daughter.
Tashana Thompson: had a business partner in my business and she left just a few months after I had my daughter. Yikes. So I went from, being a six figure earner, like doing really well, having this established business to the year that I had my daughter in 2017, I brought home like less than 30, 000 to our household.
And I was going through postpartum depression. It was, The best times for me. Yeah. I feel tears. it was a really, really rough, time. And, having the support of my family. What's everything and that's why I'm really so passionate about the work that I do and the way that I go about marketing businesses from a relationship marketing perspective, because it's literally how I was able to rebuild my business and get it to, you multiple 6 figures, almost 7 figures and,
Build it to a place where it was better than it was before.
Kate Christy: So, you
Tashana Thompson: I'm in a almost 17 year old business, but in a lot of ways, this business is almost 7 year old business because I was really starting all over again after my business partner left. So, it was a rough go of it, balancing a new baby and, my bonus son who was living with us, you know, and him having been on the only child and now he's not anymore and, in our household anyway.
So it was a lot going on. And I wish I could tell you a fairy tale story. It was beautiful. And I just transitioned so seamlessly. I did. I haven't heard one of those
Kate Christy: yet,
Tashana Thompson: by
Kate Christy: the way,
Tashana Thompson: a beautiful transition. Um, but I think that especially you're having your first baby, even if you are a bonus mom or a great aunt or whatever, you are never prepared as a business owner for what it means for your schedule, what it means for you financially.
I just don't think that anything can prepare you.
Kate Christy: Yeah, because a lot of what we do as business owners and what we do is Mothers, right? There's a lot of emotional mental weight wrapped up in both of those things, right? Because there's no clock in clock out for either of these jobs, when you talk about it, you're always on.
Yeah. And mental and emotional capacity are always on. And. My therapist says that I should be able to put things in a box and, put them up on a shelf and then get them back out, but I haven't been able to successfully do that yet. So I'm always open to any advice that anyone has about being able to clock out of their business that they've built themselves, but I haven't heard any yet.
It's pretty
Tashana Thompson: difficult. It's pretty difficult to turn off.
Kate Christy: Yeah. So when your partner left in your business, Were you totally blindsided by that thinking you're going into this, I'm having this baby. I have this person who's going to be able to support the business while I'm yeah. If you want to talk about that, I'd love to hear.
I'm sure.
Tashana Thompson: Yeah, and, I'm really careful about how I tell this story because she and I are. really good friend, still a sister to me, and we've been able to heal our relationship. and she's working in the business and she helps me a ton, as a team member. mean, it was a abandonment thing because not only were we business partners, but we were really, really close like sisters.
Yeah, I've been with her when her mom passed and, she'd been with me through some difficult relationships. Like, we had just been there and it was more the loss of that and the abruptness that was hard for me. it was like everything in my world changed at the same time.
Kate Christy: Mm hmm.
Tashana Thompson: And. I'm a Leo girl.
I wasn't, I don't do change. I do change, but slow change. so the abrupt change was just devastating and everything that comes with being a new mom. And I had my daughter at 34, 35, something like that. And so.have a whole identity. Mm-Hmm. . And now that, I think that's the joy of when people have children earlier sometimes, is that like you're kind of growing up together.
You don't really know who you are about them, . but at 34, 35, you're like, you're very clear about who you are. And now you have this little person and you're like, oh, maybe I'm not this person. I dunno. And you don't have the space and the time to work like you want. LikeMy daughter's, she's a little lispy.
She says, I think I got distracted. You're always distracted, distracted, you know, like, there's always something as a mom that is always in the back of your mind. Is my baby safe? Did I do this? Did I do that? Did I make the appointment? and when you have to worry about, oh, I'm not earning as much as I was to contribute to our household.
And I'm used to living this way and now I actually need the money for more than my pure one habit. I don't have it. So. was a really, really, really difficult time.
Kate Christy: Yeah, I can't imagine honestly, because you are on this unsteady new territory, right. With the brand new baby you're taking care of.
And then there's business stuff, financial stuff that's happening that.I've had this conversation multiple times with my husband around, like, there's no limit to what a business that you're building can do, because no one's stopping you from. Adding a new product or adding a new service or, increasing your prices or anything like that.
So in one way, it's like, well, I can get to where I want to be, where I need to be. I just need X, Y, and Z in order to get there, right? Whether that's time or energy or help in terms of, subcontracting things out or hiring team members or whatever that looks like, but you can drive yourself a little crazy with.
Oh, I can fix this financial problem because there's no limit to what I can do. But then you throw a baby in the mix. You're like, Oh, this is a big limit, right? Emotional capacity, mental capacity, right. And all of the, that comes with that first year hormonally with, or first year first, it's like more like from the time you conceive until two years, like two years old, I felt was when.
I started feeling myself again, like my body was wholly mine, like things had leveled out and that's something that I didn't have any awareness of going into motherhood around, I was like, Oh, nine months in my body. And then that's that false. And then you're your person,
Tashana Thompson: right?
Kate Christy: Right. And so,
what did that transition look like for you? Kind of accepting, okay, this is who I was before I had a child and now I've had my child. And now I don't know who this person is like, or I'm not able to be this person that I once was like, that was a,big transition and grieving period for me, letting go of who I was, what I was capable of, what I did before kids versus after having kids.
Tashana Thompson: If I'm being honest, I don't think I ever had that reconciling.
Kate Christy: Mm
Tashana Thompson: hmm. It ends. It's probably what made that first few years so hard for me, you know, first, I think about two years or so. I think you're spot on with that. because I still was holding myself to a certain standard. I was still, not giving myself grace and you know how to fix this.
Why aren't you fixing it? And I'm coaching a new mom right now, and, that's much of her, you know, highly ambitious, high achiever. And she's like, I have this 10 month old and, she doesn't, she keeps her baby during the day. She has some help from her mom, but she doesn't have daycare. Like, at least I was dropping my baby off the first few weeks.
so added in to your question. I didn't ever reconcile it. I still think that I should be able to. Do the things that I did when I started this business at 25, even though I'm 41 now and 25, I was not married. I didn't have any children. I didn't have the same responsibilities.
and that's really, you've given me a really powerful revelation. I just haven't, still expect to be able to jump as high into doing all the things and just in a different way. And that's where the support comes in.
Kate Christy: Yeah. 100 percent and not having that support system around you when you're, that can be a very isolating feeling too of, you're being hard on yourself about what you're able to or not able to accomplish.
Right. And without those people who have your back, who are helping you in the day to day, who are helping you and mentally too, like that can be very isolating without that. And I was very much of, I am a high performer. I'm a high achiever. I can do this. I am capable. Right. And then it got to the point where I was like, my brain chemistry is different.
I can't see a minute. Yeah, and especially the type of work that I do, and I'll, ask you this, about, day to day work that you do too, but creative work, like designing and doing stuff like that. I didn't realize how much emotional stamina. That I needed to be able to get in a creative flow to get in a creative space and things like that.
And so I would kind of look at my calendar, like my day in a logical sense, right? Well, I have childcare from this time to this time. That's enough time to do these tasks, right? But of course, the tasks that I have are, there's no way in hell these are getting done in this time frame that I have, cooked up that I'm going to be able to check everything off my to do list in this time frame, but not really being aware of how much time I need To nurture myself in a creative way, right?
to fill my cup up, to make sure that I'm taking care of myself so that I can perform at a level that I need to perform at, where when you are younger, when you don't have kids, when you don't have all this other responsibility, right? It's just, you're like firing, right? you've got this. And then, yeah, like coming to terms with that Was very difficult for me and for a long time, people, my husband, especially love him, but he was like, you need to lower your, standards and lower your expectations.
I was like, I will not, but once I kind of thought, you know what, Kate? You can't do what you used to be able to do, and that's not good or bad. It just is right. Like you don't have as much time in the day and you don't have as much energy in the day. And that's, what life is right now. That's how you're going to have to run your business because you have a nine year old, a six year old and a two year old.
That just is, but once they're older, it's going to look different. Like it might look different six months from now with a two year old. those little people change rapidly. Yeah. Yeah.
Tashana Thompson: Yeah. It's so true. I mean, this is such a great conversation because I. think that I've, even still that she's six now, she'll be seven soon.
I'm still learning to give myself more grace. And to your point, understanding that just because I write 20 things on my to do list does not mean I'm going to get them done and having more realistic expectations. I think that's really key in this season for me. This is what I can do. these are the priorities.
We can do the priorities. Everything is not an emergency because I live in my mind. Everything needs to be done right now, right? Yeah.
Kate Christy: Well, I think as moms too, I feel like it's get it checked off the list, get it checked off the list so I can remove this from my brain because there's so much going on up there all the time.
Like you said earlier, did I make the appointment? Did I do this? Did I forget to pack a lunch? Did I put that thing in the backpack that needed to go or did I sign the form or whatever, right? There's so much rolling around in there all the time that I think that desire to just free up space, free up space.
Now it's. A lot of it is self imposed, which is ironic, right? Like we're the ones doing it to ourselves. no one else is doing this to us. But yeah, and I think back to when I worked for someone else when I had a to do list, right? And whatever I got done in that eight hours that I was there at work is what got done.
I tried to be as efficient as possible. I didn't, dink around and not do my job. I was very efficient, but I had no guilt around, Oh, I didn't do everything today. And what I didn't get done, we'll get done tomorrow. And what doesn't get done tomorrow gets done the next day and the next day.
But then that. Mindset just poof, disappeared whenever I was working for myself. What is that?
Tashana Thompson: What is
Kate Christy: that? I don't know. I don't know. And I was talking with someone else around, like, if I get to the end of my to do list, that means I don't have anyone paying me to do anything. And that does not feel like a desire that I should have.
Tashana Thompson: Ah.
Kate Christy: To not have any clients to be doing anything, right? so it's a little conundrum, but yeah, I don't know why. I think it's, there's, I guess, like An emotional component to it, right? we're trying to free up that space. We're trying to protect ourselves to save ourselves from ourselves.
And the reality of it is. You're always going to have a to do list. It's not going anywhere. It's things are going to get added every single day.
Tashana Thompson: Yeah, I think that that's the thing. And I've had a new way. Of doing my to-do list, it's like four squares, that I've been implementing the last month or so, and it's been incredibly helpful.
but it's so true. Like you have this running list and you think I'm supposed to get all this stuff done, not only professionally, but personally, and we wouldn't tell anybody else to do all that stuff. Mm-Hmm. We wouldn't expect anyone else to do 50 things in a day like It's, coming back to giving Grace.
And I love that you said earlier, nurturing yourself. This is something I'm noting that God wants me to pay attention to God, universe, whatever you call it. cause I had the same, very same conversation yesterday about how are you nurturing yourself through all of this, the things what are you doing to nurture yourself?
And sometimes it is for me that time in the morning to dump and say, okay, this is what I can get done today. and yeah, to really sit in gratitude and have my cup of coffee or curl it with a blanket or book or whatever. Just for a few minutes. Sometimes as a mom, you just need some quiet.
Just, I don't know if you have girls or not. The talking. Oh, it's a lot of talking.
Kate Christy: My girl is the youngest, so she's two. She's, there's a lot of talking involved at this age. But, yeah, so I haven't gotten, I haven't gotten to the,
Tashana Thompson: you just wait. Do your boys talk a lot too?
Kate Christy: Some, they are really close, which I don't know if this is a result of the pandemic, but they were like, this is your only option for entertainment, each other.
Right. Where you can't go anywhere or do anything. but I don't know if that would have naturally happened, which I'm super thankful for. And like, fingers crossed every single day that it doesn't just Do a 180. Yeah, because I've had so many people ask me, how do you keep your boys from fighting each other?
I was like, they don't, they don't listen.
Tashana Thompson: That's
Kate Christy: awesome. Yes. So they're, in cahoots doing their thing all the time. And it's funny though, because we've noticed with both of them that. They get home from school or we're trying to talk to them throughout the day and, what's going on?
What do you want to do? What's up? What happened to school today? They're like, yeah, it was fine. Yeah, whatever. And then it's bedtime and you're laying down with them doing the bedtime routine, reading the book or just talking, getting ready to go to bed with them while going to bed because they Just yes, they spill it right then and there.
It's like the craziest thing that they want to say every single thing that happened. And that thing that you were trying to talk to them about 3 weeks ago that it did not appear that they were listening whatsoever. Yeah. They will just. Echo that to you and talk about that. And so I love it and we love it, but it's like, it's bedtime child.
Go to bed. Yeah.
Tashana Thompson: I tell my daughter every day, like when she comes home from school, it's like a little cutesy thing to do. , like what was the tea? I want the tea. What happened at school today? I don't want all the, information. and sometimes she's kind of reluctant to give it until. bedtime.
Mm hmm. And 10 cuddles? Oh. everything that happened on the playground, everything that bothered her, which I love, like, I love creating that space. But one of the things we don't talk about, in terms of like managing our mental load as mothers, or maybe you do hear the overstimulation.
And I'm an only child and I talk to women all day and then my baby wants to talk, my baby will talk. She'll talk you into a coma. I promise.
And sometimes you just want a quiet moment, like just a little quiet, please. I just get really overstimulated sometimes, by all the things moving. I told my husband, you just put a CD off and I just have anything.
Kate Christy: Yeah. I 100 percent feel that over simulation bit where you, depending on what your day looks like, whether you have meetings with people or whether you're doing, solo focus work or whatever.
But I will note that if I do a lot of interacting with people, have meetings or recording multiple podcast episodes in a day or whatever that looks like, and immediately the kids get home and I'm just like, or like on edge, right. And I'm like, what's going on? Like what happened today that immediately I'm triggered by the noise that is children, like they're not doing anything bad, they're behaving themselves.
But in thinking about that, which this is not something that anyone teaches you in business school, right. Is thinking about planning. your day or planning your work week around what's capacity so that I don't turn into a mean mom when the kids get off the bus. And I realized, I kept like, taking the window of time that I had available on my calendar for people to schedule appointments.
I kept narrowing it down smaller and smaller and smaller and setting more limits on how many people could book in a day and things like that. Because I realized If I'm spent by the time they get there, I can't handle it because it is overstimulation. There's been too much give, give, give during the day.
then I don't have anything left to give to my children. That's not fair to them. That's not fair to me. And no one told me that and then also as a woman, I think I didn't really feel like I had permission to run my business in a way that was not, normal nine to five.
These are typical business practices, whatever, right? I've talked about this on the podcast before around having to be available Monday through Friday, nine to five, because those are the normal business hours. And I did that for a while and I said, well, I'm just creating the same container that I left to start my own business.
And no one needs me eight hours a day, five days a week. That's not their call to make that's my call to make
Tashana Thompson: exactly
Kate Christy: and then when I was more cognizant of how I was giving my energy and what my schedule look like to how that affected me as a human being and interacting with my kids. I was like, okay, we've got to really readdress this situation so that I can do the work that I need to do, but also be.
A decent mom.
Tashana Thompson: Absolutely. Absolutely. And I think that, I've struggled with, because I can do five to seven meetings a day. Right. And it's so funny that you said that the adjusting your window of time. I think that we're sometimes afraid to do that as business owners, because when sometimes adjusting that window of time means you're adjusting your capacity for income.
Kate Christy: but I did it yesterday. I was like, I can no longer take meetings on Mondays. Like, I need that to be my catch up day, that I get everything to my team, like, I need some focus time. And not seven meetings, seven meetings on Fridays. so is like giving yourself permission to reframe how you show up and showing up when you're energetically at your best.
Tashana Thompson: So I'm a morning person. If I'm up at 5 AM, like I was, I think I was up at three 45 yesterday and I'm going till six, come on, I'm going to shut down, not our expectations of ourselves are so grandiose. And oftentimes the world's expectations of us. Oh, you can do it. You can take one more thing on your plate.
Why not? Why can't you? to your point, it's like you've inspired me to go adjust my calendar some more. But, you know, that it's true. and then your kids end up getting the short end of the stick. And my husband's had conversation with me about like, oh, you're really enthusiastic all day.
And then when it's time for us, you're tired. And I've had seasons where30, I'm done as soon as she goes to bed, I'm done. so it's really about creating the life that we want and really believing that we are worthy of having that. And we don't have to, fall into whatever societal norms, personally or professionally, that other people tell us that we should be living by.
Kate Christy: I love that. That's it right there in a nutshell.
It's true. Yeah, it is. And, I think you talking about the standards that we're holding ourselves to just being unattainable. Right. And then when we don't. Meet that goal or we don't do that thing that we set ourselves up to do we are beating ourselves up about it Oh my god, no one else is yeah.
Yeah, we talked about this being self imposed, right? Andand like you said earlier, too, you we're not putting these expectations on others around us We're not expecting our Friends to do the things that we do. We're not treating our friends the way that we're treating ourselves when, we don't accomplish X, Y, and Z goal.
And to your point too about, being on for your clients and being energetic and giving them all your energy and then not giving it to your family in the evenings because you're done. I think that we, kind of taking that for granted, right? Like taking the people who are close to us, taking the people that we love, like, okay, they're going to love me no matter what, they're going to be there no matter what, they can't go anywhere, but then the opposite end of that is I'm taking the people that I love most for granted.
I'm treating the people that I love most that are here supporting me in not a great way. Right. And I'm 100 percent guilty of this too. And you talking about the season being done at, seven 30, when your daughter goes to bed, likein this season right now, I'm going to bed at eight o'clock.
I miraculously have been waking up an hour, two hours earlier than I normally do. And I was like, what is this about? Because instead of like, I typically wake up at six and instead of waking up at six, I was waking up at four. And for like the first week I was like, here we go. I'm going to get into routine and this is going to be amazing.
And I'm going to kick butt and all this stuff. And then it started like two o'clock. I was like, this is getting unhealthy, Kate. Like we need to, yeah,
Tashana Thompson: I've been doing the same thing up early, but I'm done. Like, I've started doing my wind down, bath time. It's my thing. That's the way I unwind. so my daughter's taking her bath.
I'm taking my bath like simultaneously so we can cuddle and mommy's bed to bed. You're in a bed, but it's true, but I'd rather have the morning time and not be up all night. So yeah.
Kate Christy: Yeah. And I think that too, just, doing what works for you. That's been a constant theme in a lot of the conversations I've been having on this podcast, where there's so much information out there about what you could do, what you should do and how I did, how I grew my business or how I set up my morning routine or whatever, that we can try all these different things on and.
giving yourself permission to try things on. If it doesn't work for you, that's not a negative reflection of you. Right. That's just, it doesn't work for you and that's okay. Move on to the next thing or don't move on to the next thing. Permission to not consume all the content out there too. Right.
And on the walk this morning, I was telling you about before we started recording with my friend. she was talking about how she, was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult and She's working through all of that stuff with her therapist and so looking at her childhood and how being undiagnosed affected different things and kind of, forgiving herself for all the stuff that happened in childhood, because she's like, oh, well, I had this.
Issue that was undiagnosed and that's why these things happened and, kind of coming to terms with that and, forgiving herself and resolving all that with herself. but 1 thing she was talking about was as. Part of her nature. She is very research and data oriented, and we'll just go down these rabbit holes.
And since she's been on this, self discovery and, self help journey, I guess, if you will, she'll get down those rabbit holes and coming out of them feeling like, well, I have a hundred different ways to fix my life. Right. And all I'm feeling is stress and anxiety and, overwhelm around All the things that I should be doing or could be doing or whatever.
and she told me that her therapist was like, you research too much. She's like, this is what I do. I said, how about you research? Just other stuff, like wolves, or outer space, or, like, read a biography, like, I don't know, like, something that scratches that, I don't know, need to research itch, but not leaving you feel less than, or, like, you are behind, or you need to, change your whole life to get to this level that this person's at.
And I think that in business, especially we consume so much because that's part of our jobs too, right? , to have a pulse on what's going on inside of our market and what other people are doing. And with the type of work I do too, with building brands and websites, it's like, okay, well, who are your competitors?
What are they doing? And you just get so bogged down With all the noise and not to say that everything on the Internet's garbage, but like everything that's going on that, you know, you can walk away thinking you're out there looking for inspiration or guidance, but walk away feeling like you've just, Noted all of the things that you're doing wrong or that you haven't accomplished yet.
Or so that was kind of a tangent
Tashana Thompson: yourself to other people, like,and their method. And to your point, like, I'm a morning person. Some people are night owls. I cannot stay up at night and if I am up, I'm not productive. So it's all about to your point, what works for you. And. Yes, testing a couple of things, but not going down rabbit holes and making yourself feel even more inadequate.
because comparison, I say it all the time. Comparison is a thief of all joy and we get to comparing ourselves. Oh, shoot, Kate can do this and her business is going really well. And she goes for morning walks and I did not like, or whatever the thing is. But you have a whole different way of being and.
Yeah, so we just have to honor ourselves whereand love ourselves where we are.
Kate Christy: And also it's rarely ever is it the whole picture, right? Probably never is it, you can be like, okay, go some morning walks, like This was the first morning walk that I've been on in like four weeks.
You don't even want to see what the house looks like. It's an explosion. Like, There's all this stuff that's going on behind the scenes that we don't want to see, right? No one wants to show it. We don't want to see it. Right? No one wants to. I don't know. Maybe that's what Instagram should turn into, though.
Just people showing
Tashana Thompson: the disaster. Yeah, that's right. Like, you see this cute background, but show my desk,
Kate Christy: right? Yeah, yeah. Okay, well, you touch on something earlier when you said. Comparison is the thief of all joy. That's has what I've applied to internally, right? Like comparing what I was able to do before I had kids versus like what I'm able to do now, right? We can catch ourselves comparing against other people, right?
But then to the old version of us, or even The version of us that we see in our mind's eye, if that makes sense, right, where this is what I like. okay. This is another tangent, but maybe it's relevant. I don't know. We'll see. So I recently went on a girl's trip with two of my designer friends and their best friend from, high school.
Tashana Thompson: Okay.
Kate Christy: And they had come up with how everyone in the group identified with a character on the show New Girl. Have you ever seen that TV show? And so they said that I was the Nick on the show. And I was like, I feel like I identify as a Schmidt. And then the more the weekend, unfolded and the more I thought about it, I was like, Oh my God, I am a Nick, but in my mind, I was like, I'm the Schmidt, I'm the type a I've got it together.
I'm driven. And then I was like, no, that's what I think about me. Or that's maybe who I was before I had kids. But I've let that go. Like I still am driven and I'm still pulled to be the best version of myself, to be successful. But I am a little bit of a Nick in there now. So I guess
Tashana Thompson: kind of What does that mean for you?
Kate Christy: Well, at first I was like, feel like I am not as much of a Man child, maybe he is, but the more would like to say something out loud on the trip and I can't think of any examples off the top of my head, but I would say it out loud. I'm like, oh, my gosh, I am Nick. That's a Nick thing to say. but it was so funny, but, the more I thought about it, I was like, okay, what other things am I cooking up in my head?
That I think I am, or I think I'm supposed to be. Right. But what's, the reality of that? And like, what do I really want that to look like? Or how do I want that to present itself? And I don't know, that was just kind of a interesting way or like an interesting conversation to have with yourself, right?
Of, who am I really? Versus
Tashana Thompson: the way that you're perceived.
Kate Christy: Yes. Yeah. And
Tashana Thompson: that reckoning, know, it's probably somewhere in the middle or much more like, yeah, that's pretty cool.
Kate Christy: Yeah. Okay. So I want to ask you a few questions around, I guess kind of highs and lows with being a mom and running a business.
Tashana Thompson: Okay.
Kate Christy: So what would be. I guess it could be multiple things too, that you struggle with doing the most that you feel like this is really the area that we need to work on. Or, these are the things that I'm consistently trying to resolve or, come up with that fix for. And then on the counter of that, what are the things that you're like?
I've got this, I'm super proud of this. I will humble brag about this all day long.
Tashana Thompson: Oh, I don't know if I have any humble brags in my spirit today. The one thing that I'm trying to improve, is that how you want me to phrase it? Yeah. showing up with patience as a parent, and gratitude for the fact that, my daughter can talk and wants to talk and wants to be with mommy and like sit in the gratitude of that, as opposed to the annoyance, if I'm overstimulated.
So really making. A conscious effort to make the shifts to be a better mom, say better in air quotes, but more present mom, a more patient mom. that's 1 of the things that, I kind of beat myself up about that. I feel like I get frustrated or this weekend. I was especially tired with birthday parties and all the things, but showing up and being present and being.
Happy to be present and guess I'm making myself sound like I'm an awful mom, I promise I'm not. And she probably doesn't feel any of this. I feel it, right. I feel like, I'm tired or I'm kind of, okay, I'll stay up and play one more thing so I think that's really where I'm trying to improve.
Kate Christy: Well, I would say anyone who is concerned about being a better mom or concerned if they're a good mom, that means that they're a really good mom. Oh, you're sweet. You're
Tashana Thompson: sweet. Yeah.
Kate Christy: I try. give her everything I got. Mm hmm. Yeah. So, yeah. And something I have conversations with my kids around is when things go sideways, I'm like, you're a first time kid, I'm a first time mom.
You know, we're, we're figuring this out together. this is the first time this has happened to you as a kid. And this is the first time this has happened to me as a mom. And I don't really, or I didn't handle that well, or I don't know how to handle that, to be honest. Let's figure this out.
Tashana Thompson: Okay. I love that.
I love the vulnerability of that. And I've said to her, like, at times when mommy needs a moment, right? Mommy needs a moment to have a conversation about mommy doesn't take really good care of you. If I don't take really good care of me.
Kate Christy: Well, and that's such a important and powerful thing to model for a child, especially a girl, right?
I mean, all children, right. But, to say you need to take care of yourself, right? So that you can take care of others. And. Yes, 100 percent in that, one episode I did with, Danny, , Sinclair, she says that she does this thing where she goes into monk mode and she tells her kids, she puts her ear buds in and she goes, mom's going into monk mode and I go, what do they do?
She says. They just understand that they have to entertain themselves while I put my earbuds in and listen to some music and just decompress and they're safe. I'm around, but they know they can't ask me any questions. They have to reserve all communication till after monk mode that monk mode.
Tashana Thompson: read an article, recently or something on social about mom saying, okay, it's eight o'clock.
I'm off. And I'll be with you in the morning in case of emergency, you can talk to me, but I'm off. Yeah. Because we're never off. If they, next week is, holiday break. If they're up till a later, like that means you're up till later, like doing the thing, playing the games, being engaged. And sometimes we have to say, Oh, it's eight 30.
Mommy and daddy are off for tonight. If you have an emergency, please let us know. but other than that, color. Play, figure it out. Well,
Kate Christy: and I've also read stuff too, around letting your kids get bored, right? That's where creativity and problem solving and critical thinking comes in. And so I think that's something else that we've misinterpreted or kind of gone down the wrong path on maybe, in modern society where, we have to entertain our children.
I think especially if you
Tashana Thompson: only have one in the house, like we do, so she's here with all these adults and you feel like bad about the fact that she doesn't have a playmate.
Kate Christy: Yeah, when we look at a non modern society, right? Moms and dads, their time is eaten up by just keeping The household functioning, right?
Like doing all the things that needed to be done to get the food, to cook the food, thinking about like a primitive society. Or,Little house on the Prairie those days, right? Mom's churning butter. You're not old enough to
Tashana Thompson: know that show girl.
Kate Christy: yeah, you know, where there was so much to do. Absolutely. The mom wasn't, it was not her job to entertain the kids. The kids had to entertain themselves. And yeah, someone had forwarded me an article around like comparing our time now to that time historically, right around, all of that stuff that, It's not our job to entertain our kids 24 7 and, letting your kids get poured is a really good way to help them develop.
Critical thinking skills, problem solving skills, right? Creativity and all that stuff. but then with boys too, if you leave them alone for too long, they'll get into mischief.
Tashana Thompson: But
Kate Christy: I do have the two boys who are, one will almost be nine and the other one's six. So they're close enough in age. Did they get along pretty well?
and Mads, my daughter, she's just kind of her own entity and just, you know, is she telling them what to do yet? Not quite. She did boss one around the other day, which was very funny and exciting to witness. Yeah. so it's interesting though, because they are aware of her But they don't really engage with her.
There's kind of like, she's just existing in our house. But you know, she likes to, if they're running around playing a game, she likes to run around, act like she's playing too. So, um, yeah, that's funny. okay. So I want to ask if you could go back in time and give yourself advice. As the baby business owner from some things, you know, now, what would you tell your younger self?
Tashana Thompson: Oh, there's so many things.
it's okay to admit you don't know everything
Tashana Thompson: asked for help. there's not shame. There shouldn't be any shame in what you don't know. You're new to this.
I think that I could have gotten a lot further faster if I had been vulnerable enough to say, Oh girl, I don't know what I'm I have one of those personalities that people just believe. I know. And sometimes earlier in my career, I would just let them believe and meanwhile struggling to figure out the way.
So just ask for help. the right people are really willing to come alongside you and support you and get help sooner rather than later. Don't wait. To invest in, coaching VA, like whatever support you need, to get you to the next level. You don't have to be a super woman. You don't have to try to do everything yourself.
we're not meant to. So that would be my advice.
Kate Christy: Yeah. In the earlier days when you got to that point where did you always have a partner in the business? Did you all
Tashana Thompson: start it together? We started together, but she was still working, part time. always been the face.
I was always the 1 doing all business development and all strategy and things like that. So, yeah, but we did start together helping with design projects and things like that.
Kate Christy: Yeah, because I know going at it alone, right? Getting to that point where it's okay, I need to find. Someone else to help me, I need to outsource something or I need to bring someone in or that can, especially when you do have a little bit of those type a tendencies, right.
To let go of something that can be a really difficult transition. So I was just curious if, getting to that point in business, was that a difficult thing, but you all were in it together from the start.
Tashana Thompson: But I mean, it is difficult to bring, other people in when you bring assistants in.
those types of things in and get a coach, as soon as you can really find a good coach to help you walk that journey in that path. I wish I had invested myself in that way earlier, but when I began to hire coaches, it transformed everything. And that's why I'm so passionate about, providing those services to women now, because it really changes your perspective and you're not, you know, in this hole alone.
and sometimes even in a partnership, you feel like you're, if you're the majority owner, you can still feel like you're in a hole alone. so yeah.
Kate Christy: Well, I think when you're trying to build your own business, right? Like we can offer our service and support our clients. Miraculously, right? But then when it comes to figuring out how to grow the business, how to build the business, what systems to put in place on the back end, it can be really hard for us to figure out how to do that.
And as a designer, I thought, Any design I do for my business, I have to do it. No one else can do it. And I have to do it because that's like the ultimate portfolio piece, right? For me to design stuff. But then I started seeing all these other designers outsourcing their design. Like they, got this other designer to rebrand their business for them and build their website.
And I was like, this is strange. But then the more I, Saw it happening. And the more I thought about it, I was like, you can't read the label from inside the jar.
Tashana Thompson: Exactly. Right?
Kate Christy: Like these people have got it figured out. What am I doing over here? But yeah, we can, you can't
Tashana Thompson: scale that way. And that's why, you drive yourself crazy.
Your capacity is so limited.
Kate Christy: And same as, how we're holding ourselves to these impossible standards, right? Like we're treating ourselves differently than we would treat anyone else. And thinking about that as it pertains to your business, right? you will get in your own way nine times out of 10 to when you're, trying to figure things out on your own.
And so I 100 percent support that advice. Anyone to, get people who can help you see you, unclouded, not with your own. Stuff that you're dealing with, mental, emotional, business, life, whatever it is, right? Because there's all that, because there is a, fair bit of ego wrapped up in building your own business.
Tashana Thompson: Oh, absolutely.
Kate Christy: Right. You identify as a business owner, as the person who's, making the business work, building the business, all this stuff. And so, yeah, getting in your, this is a PSA for everyone listening. This is me telling myself this too.
Tashana Thompson: Everything we talk about is about reiterating things to ourselves.
And sometimes we're so much better at helping others, coaching others through this stuff, and we don't offer the same grace. It goes that word again, and compassion to ourselves. So, I want to answer an earlier question if you'll allow me.
Kate Christy: Yeah,
Tashana Thompson: absolutely. About the highs and lows. And I kind of went off on another tangent, but I do want to encourage the listeners to give themselves credit about what's going well.
And what they're doing. Well, so I will, model this behavior because you did ask me and I gave you a tangent about what I was doing wrong. I did not tell you what I was doing. Right. and 1 of the things that I'm doing, right? there's several things I have, you know, but 1 of the things that I'm really doing right in this season is, being unapologetic about taking time for myself.
So I went on a retreat to Belize. I just got back two weeks ago and I was gone as long as I've ever been gone, like five days, six days and challenging myself to step out of my comfort zone and putting my health first. I've been working out with a trainer for a year, those little things, like making sure that I take care of me so I can show up as opposed to, and yeah, there is some mommy guilt that comes into that when you're away or You're doing the things, but doing that.
So I have the capacity to be a better mother, to be a better wife, to be a better business owner, a better coach or whatever, is really important in modeling that behavior. Like it's okay. Kate, you want to go on the weekend with your girlfriends, go four times a year, do something for you once a quarter, you know?
so that's something I'm doing really well and I'm doing a really good job in my business of delegating. I'm saying a personalities, to your point earlier, you want to kind of hover and, Oh, we didn't do this. Right. but delegating letting that, unfold, however it unfolds, have really been key for me.
I'm doing those things really well in this season.
Kate Christy: Yeah, that's amazing. And excellent advice, Because talking about modeling, if we pull ourselves. out and kind of get a bird's eye view of our lives and seeing how are we taking care of ourselves? What are our kids seeing? Yeah. How we're taking care of ourselves or how we're, conducting ourselves as humans.
Right. And I look at where I am right now in the cycle of business where it's a bit of a slow season. There's some, Kind of at this, okay, which direction are we going now? Which can, you know, that's a whole bunch of digging up feelings and putting things, plans together and taking a leap of faith and all that stuff that goes with building a business.
But, a side effect of that is just emotional drain, right? And then looking at, I don't want my kids to see me being this mom who, is pursuing her passion, but also. It kind of looks like that sucks. Yeah. She's like moody and tired and unavailable. Unavailable. Yeah. And it's like, well, that's not really the example I'd like to set.
Easier said than done. And I think it will forever be a work in progress. And I know, we've talked about your relationship with your mom and I too have such a good relationship with my parents that I maybe naively I'm thinking that, my kids are always going to be around because, they might decide, I'm going to turn 18, I'm out of here.
And, I am just going to go with, that's not going to happen, but time will tell. Yeah. that I'm still going to be able to model and be able to be a part of their lives long after this, period of time too. So, I don't know, I was talking with someone else about the relationship that I do have with my parents and how that's changed into, we've become friends and, we.
Talk more in depth about life stuff, like we can get philosophical, like it's not just, it's not a mother, daughter, mother, father relationship anymore. It's, a friendship. And so anyways,
Tashana Thompson: it's such an awesome thing, like, another thing that I'm doing really well since I'm tooting my horn, do it.
I'm really focused on my relationships. So last weekend was my daughter's weekend. We did a birthday party. We went to go get her hair done. end a date night with my husband during the week. And this Saturday is going to be me and my mom's time for our date. Like we go on every two weeks, we're going on a date together, and we're shopping lots of shopping, lots of Target, and going to lunch and catching up because, to your point, those are the things that matter.
And it's so easy to get lost in whatever we're trying to create in our businesses. And because we're such, powerful, brilliant women, we want to do all the things from that vantage point. But yeah, at the end of our days, these are the relationships that are going to matter. this is what matters.
So making sure that we're investing the time and does take, intentionality to be really focused on giving each person in your life, their individual time. and I can only imagine what that looks like for you, you get three babies, like, how do you create space for, a quick something with each of them, or not so quick.
that's what it looks like for me, like really investing time in those relationships too.
Kate Christy: Mm hmm. No, I love that. Well, Tasha, thank you so much for giving me so much of your time today because we as working mothers. Thank you. Have little that to give. And I really enjoyed this conversation.
Will you let everyone know where they can connect with you online, where they can find you, how they can work with you, all that stuff?
Tashana Thompson: Absolutely. you can find me everywhere. I'm at grow with BBS. So Instagram, Facebook, and on LinkedIn at Tashana Thompson. And I offer complimentary discovery calls for women who are in business that are looking for, strategic help or coaching, in their businesses, please feel free.
And if you go to either of those spaces and DM me. I can get you a link and we can schedule some time to chat, but I thoroughly enjoyed this conversation. Thank you so much for having me, Kate.
Kate Christy: You're so welcome. And I'll link everything in the show notes so everyone can get there quickly. Thanks Tashauna.
Thank you.