Raising Kids & Running a Business
Raising Kids & Running a Business
026 | Time DOES NOT Equal Capacity with Kat Murphy
In the latest episode, I engage in an insightful conversation with Kat Murphy of Social Kat Media, delving into the intricacies of balancing motherhood and entrepreneurship.
Kat's journey, characterized by unexpected challenges and triumphs, offers valuable insights into managing a business while navigating the joys and struggles of parenthood.
From her initial leap into entrepreneurship to facing the unexpected realities of childbirth and parenting, Kat's resilience shines through.
This episode highlights the importance of setting boundaries, managing client communication, and prioritizing self-care as essential components of maintaining balance.
Kat's story serves as a powerful reminder that, with resilience, proper planning, and grace, it is entirely possible to thrive both personally and professionally as a working mom.
Highlights
- Early Entrepreneurial Endeavors: an entrepreneurial journey in 2017 while still employed in a corporate role, gradually transitioning into full-time business ownership by 2018.
- The Reality of Motherhood: experience after childbirth starkly contrasted her expectations, with challenges like sleep deprivation, colic, and her daughter's milk allergy reshaping her understanding of parenthood.
- Preparing for Parenthood Round Two: despite careful planning, the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic in 2021, coupled with daycare closures, posed unforeseen challenges for Kat as she prepared for the arrival of her second child.
- Navigating the Intersection of Roles: the importance of setting boundaries and managing client expectations as pivotal strategies for balancing motherhood and entrepreneurship.
- Adapting Work Practices: The innovative solution of acquiring a separate work phone facilitated a clearer separation between work and personal life, enhancing her ability to prioritize self-care and business development.
- Advocacy for Self-Care: The significance of moms prioritizing self-care, and engaging in activities that bring joy and fulfillment outside of their professional and parental responsibilities.
- Managing Expectations: offering sage advice to working moms that the journey of entrepreneurship and motherhood takes time and resilience, advocating for a compassionate approach towards oneself.
- Parting Wisdom: insightful parting words, acknowledging the unique nature of each mom's journey and encouraging others to embrace the challenges with patience and grace.
Connect with Kat Social online:
Connect with Kate Christy:
Kate Christy: I'm your host, Kate Chrissy. And today I'm sitting down with Kat Murphy of Social Cat Media. Hello, Kat. Welcome to the podcast.
Kat Tepylo Murphy: Hi, Kate. Thanks for me.
Kate Christy: I'm so happy that you're here and that we're going to be talking all things business motherhood and wherever the conversation goes, honestly. but before we get into all of that, I'd really love for you to tell everyone listening who you are, give us your backstory, kind of how you got into running your business, where kids came in along the way.
Give us All the backstory details.
Kat Tepylo Murphy: Oh, there's a lot of backstory that excited to share. So I started my business kind of on a whim in 2017. I was working a corporate job, didn't love it, and decided to just Um, I just try to make entrepreneurship a thing. I had a few, freelance clients I was working on the side doing social media for.
And I kind of just did the jump without really looking too far ahead. And thankfully it worked out. So in 2017, 2018, I was building my business by myself. Solo entrepreneur. And in 2018, I got pregnant, with my first. So I now have a five year old and a two year old, almost two year old.
And I was very naive when I was pregnant with my first because all I saw online was, Pinterest perfect nurseries and, like, babies sleeping independently in a, like, bassinet. So I'm like, I got this. I don't. I need to take a mat leave. I can't really afford to take a mat leave, so I'll like, take a solid two weeks off, and then I'll just Run my business and have a newborn, like, no big deal.
actually very big deal. So that kind of rocked my world, experiencing just the depths of sleep deprivation. my daughter had colic and ended up having a milk allergy. So I had to cut up milk. Like, for the first six weeks of her life, she just screamed a lot. so that was one heck of a ride.
Thankfully, my husband took some, parental leave when she was about four months old. But even then, between like breastfeeding and just like, still up in the night, it was quite a journey. And I knew after that experience that if I was going to have another kid, which I wasn't sure if I would want to, I needed to change a few things in my business.
So in 2021, 2020, 2021, I was like, okay, maybe we should have another kid. I started working really hard in the business to prepare for that. So I had a few team members working with me, did a lot of and preparation. Got pregnant in spring 2021, thinking, okay, pandemic's gonna be like, done when our second is born, we're gonna be like, it's all gonna be great.
so my son was born in December 2021. right when, like, the first variants of COVID came out. So, everything went into lockdown again here in Ontario and Canada. our daughter's daycare closed, all this kind of thing. So, our expectations of that newborn period, we had done all this, prep work to be like, okay, we have, like, a plan for care for me, cause I struggled with postpartum anxiety and depression after my daughter was born.
We had this great plan with daycare and grandparents and all this stuff. And then world closes. So that was quite, an experience as well. I took four months parental leave or mat leave with kiddo number two. So really I'm like basically a year and a half past mat leave now. And like really now trying to figure out what do I want out of my business?
Now I'm done having babies. And where do we go from here?
Kate Christy: Yeah. Wow. sounds like we had kind of a similar situation with, our expectations around kids and running a business. but yeah, when, I remember that thinking about this, like Pinterest, perfect motherhood. And when I first had my kid, I was like, okay, like, we've got to go to do the pumpkin patch.
We've got to go do this. Like, these are the things that moms do. And I was like, this stuff sucks. Like, I don't want to go. This is. Stressful. but that's a sad story. but when you started your business, so how long were you into your business, building your business when you had your first kid?
what was that timeframe again?
Kat Tepylo Murphy: I started my business in January, 2017, officially full time. And then my daughter was born in September, 2018.
Kate Christy: Okay. So did you feel like you had a good footing in your business? You were like, okay, like, feel great about where I am. Or were you just kind of I guess, still in those early days of we're trying things out, we're seeing what works.
And then like having no concept of what having a child would mean to you as a person, like to your business, to your family dynamic, all that stuff. Like, did you feel like you had a good footing in your business or were you just kind of this is going to be okay. Okay. We'll just see what happens.
everything's gonna keep on going, business as usual, and we'll just, like, tuck the kit into, the routine as it is.
Kat Tepylo Murphy: Yeah, I was definitely in the camp of we'll just see what happens. Like I felt decently solid my business. I had some great like monthly clients I was working with. but when I look back now, I had no clue what I was doing.
Like I was not charging enough. I kind of just thought like, it'll be fine. I'll just keep working eight hours a day and I'll just have a baby with me. Like they don't do much sleep, but. That wasn't really the case.
Kate Christy: Yeah, I didn't start my business until after I'd already had two kids.
And so I'd worked remotely while having two of them and they each stayed home with me for The second one was the first six months, but the first one, he was home for almost a year. And so like trying to juggle that while like, thankfully the person who I worked for allowed me to do that. And I'm so thankful for that, but it's really hard to manage a small human and be productive at the same time.
So whenever I was getting ready to have my third, I was like, okay, I've been here. I've done this. We've got this figured out. It's just going to be easy. We're just going to transition. And I'm like, I should have known better. Like, I already had two experiences like this, but that was my first, maternity leave as a business owner.
And so I was just like, okay. We're not taking one because it's just gonna be easy and it was by far the most difficult, the most stressful transition. she was a great baby, but like for me, it was a bad experience. Yeah, and I was like, I got home from the hospital and had a discovery call like the next day and like, didn't tell them that I just had a baby and I'm like, what are you doing with your life right now, Kate?
Like,
Kat Tepylo Murphy: That is so hard.
Kate Christy: Yeah, but I was kind of in this like very bizarre headspace of if they know I'm pregnant, maybe I won't get this job, and Which I should have turned down the job is really what the reality of the situation should have been. But everything worked out. They had a lovely website.
Everyone was happy. So no one suffered except me. But, I did really struggle with how to a mom and a business owner and show up as a business owner in a professional way, because I thought maybe they're not going to trust me. Maybe they're not going to think that I'm capable, all these.
Very strange thoughts around being a mom and a business owner, which I'm always working through that. And I'm sure, you have some stories to share around that too. So I'd love to hear how you were like, what mental space you were in when you had this child and you're running your business, how are you navigating that with your clients that you were in contact with on a day to day or week to week basis?
And what was your mindset in that time period, I guess?
Kat Tepylo Murphy: My mindset was definitely just survival. making it through each day. My clients were really understanding and like some of them questioned the two week mat leave and people who were parents were like, oh, and I'm like, no, it's going to be great.
got this plan. And I really had to do some work to, like, understand that time doesn't equal capacity, especially, like, as a service provider, like, even if I had an hour when my daughter was sleeping, which was always in a wrap on me, like, I was always baby wearing, that was the only way she would nap, that didn't mean I had an hour of Deep brain space to go and be creative.
That was the biggest thing. I'm like, I'm going to have time. I'm going to have all this space to do things. But in reality, I had zero capacity. So that was like a really important lesson to learn. And like, I still am learning that and like continuing to work on giving myself grace that just because I have time, it doesn't mean I have the capacity to do that work.
Kate Christy: Mm hmm. Yeah, that's a huge lesson that no one can tell you either. you have to sadly figure it out for yourself. yeah, because that was one thing that I had a really hard time letting go of was what I was capable of before having kids and then what I was capable of after having kids. And then the more kids added onto that, worse it got.
but yeah, just, you know, looking at yourself through the lens of who you are now and what you can do now versus what was. And that was a really hard transition. Like I've talked about this before on the podcast, but a grieving process and how a lot of other moms had gone through that similar process, but it was just such a, I used to be able to do all these things.
I used to be able to, like, my mind would work quicker and faster and more, Productive. that's not the word I'm looking for, but yeah. Yeah. And so I was really struggling with that until I really stepped back and said, okay, Kate, that's not who you are anymore. And that's okay.
this is who you are now. This is what you can do now, and that's okay, because the reality of still trying to be that person I was before is only causing me stress and burnout and anxiety and frustration around trying to deliver what old Kate used to be able to deliver, but new Kate is maybe 75 percent able to do that, or maybe 50 percent able to do that, right?
And just, you know, I don't know. Coming to peace with that, with yourself, was a really hard lesson for me to learn. And I love the way you put that around time does not equal capacity, because they're like two totally different things as a parent.
Kat Tepylo Murphy: 100%. And it's, I'm still like working on it and it's like, even though I know it, it's just that constant reminder and like in it that about a month ago, my hot water bottle exploded on me.
with boiling water in it. So I got secondary burns on 8 percent of my body. so I was like bedridden for a few weeks, couldn't do anything. we had family here helping with the kids. And originally I'm you know what, I'm going to be on the couch or in the bed all the time. I'm going to get so much work done.
But no, the time did not equal my capacity because I had just gone through a major trauma and my body was healing, so it's still something I'm like working on and learning, but that. Injury actually taught me a really good thing is that like I focused on doing thing a day like okay I'm gonna write a couple emails like that is the only thing i'm doing today And i'm really trying to incorporate that in my business going forward because i'm someone who likes to like fit four Hours like four different projects in a day like squeeze them in between calls Even though I know after a call like i'm gonna be Emotionally spent.
I'm like, no, that's the perfect time to squeeze in this like high productive project when in reality it's not. So I'm really trying to focus on like one thing a day and giving myself that grace. But think it's I'm going to work on forever.
Kate Christy: Yeah. And how are you talking about sticking things in here, there and everywhere?
I feel like that's something that moms are trying to do all the time is find these little teeny tiny gaps to fit something productive in or to check something off the list. And something that I think that we're all aware of is that when we're working in a creative capacity in a business that we can have a call and that call might be 30 minutes or might be an hour long call, right?
But there's still this buffer of time that you need to build into your day. To digest, to decompress, to walk away from the situation, to recalibrate, to give your brain a break and we're not building that time in because as a mom, I feel like when you put the kids on the bus or you send the kids to daycare, you're like, okay, I've got X amount of hours to get everything done that there's no way in hell I'm going to get this list of things done, but I'm tricking myself every single day into thinking I am.
Until they get home, right? And I think that inherently as mothers, we kind of set ourselves up for failure in that way. And I'm trying to be really conscious of that, but also, reframing that taking a time out is. Going to be productive for me taking a step back or taking a break is going to help me check more things off the list.
Then if I'm sitting here white knuckling, like trying to just blast through everything and doing it at a lower capacity mentally. Right. but it's a hard habit to break when you get in that mom mode where you're like, okay, I have free time uninterrupted from children. I got to get everything done right now.
Kat Tepylo Murphy: Must do all the things and. I am, yes, still unlearning this, still really working on it, because if I have five minutes, like, I need to be doing something for work, because is the time when the kids are at school and at daycare, but I also need to take care of myself, and that's like this big unlearning as well of like, why I started this business, and that I want to have some flexibility in my days, and some freedom, and that sometimes it's okay to work at night, but also if I'm like, Not feeling it, but like the work is there tomorrow and it will there and taking five minutes to go walk or to do something else to eat, to take care of myself is important and needed.
Kate Christy: Yeah. So I have a question. What you just said made me think about creating boundaries for yourself to. mentally check yourself out of your business. Is that something that like, do you have any, things that you do to turn your business brain off to be able to walk away from it and say, this is still going to be here tomorrow.
If I don't get this done today, it'll be done tomorrow. Or if it gets done this week, that's still a win. That's still checking it off the list because I know. Turning your brain off when you're running your own business is nearly impossible or it has to be Something that you're training every single second of the day, I think because I have a really hard time doing that So i'd love to hear What you do or what you're trying to do to Be like, okay clock out.
Kat Tepylo Murphy: Yeah, I think it's hard for all business owners for me like the social media I mean, it's always on there's always things and one of the things I did this year that has been You Such a to myself that I'm glad I made the investment was I got a work phone So I now have a personal cell phone and a phone So on the work phone like all the clients accounts are there But it stays in my office and so at night I can go on my own Instagram if I want because like sometimes that's for fun to like post stories interact with people but I'm really like changing the mindset of okay if I want to go on my own stuff and like have some fun that's okay but like client work stays within the confines of like my day if I want to play around with my business that can happen at night because sometimes that is like when we get those ideas so I either try to like Braindump them into a note on my phone.
We're just like, in a notebook, so they have a place to live, but then giving myself that space to like, do things, even if that's like, watching TV without my phone, it's like, ooh, this is so relaxing.
Kate Christy: Yeah, no, that is a good hack. To do that, because especially working in social media, everything being based on your phone to separate that out and also I can really easily talk myself out of doing stuff like that.
Kate, just behave yourself, but sometimes taking that extra step do that, to invest the money to do that, even though you can say. Maybe this is a waste of money, but at the same time you're getting this big relief from your mental load to just be able to turn the work phone off. It's five o'clock or whatever time you clock out, right?
That's a really good tip. , I need to figure out some clocking out strategies, but I feel like. When we run our own business, the off hours for client work is kind of like on hours for how can I grow my business? How can I make this service even better? What do I need to refine here?
They're everywhere. And. It feels like working on my business has kind of flooded into those off hours for client work, which I'm trying to get really better about. No, working on your business during business hours is still working Kate.
Kat Tepylo Murphy: Same. And for me, it's like making sure I carve out some of that time in my week that.
And I'm still always playing around with my schedule and, like, having to give myself that I had a really good schedule, figured out was in really good flow, where I had time in the week to work on my my went way down after my burns. So then it's a relearning, but I think carving out that time and trying to make it like a non negotiable, like it's in your calendar every week, it's a working on your business time, because if not, We're gonna feel, always feel burnt out because we're trying to do that at night or like in those margins of our day and we're gonna get frustrated because we don't have the time to do some of that really exciting stuff like plan the next step of our business.
Kate Christy: Mm hmm. Yeah, 100%. so let's jump in your story to when baby number two comes and the world shuts down again. What was that? What was that like when you've already had child number one, right? And you're like, that didn't go as planned. Now we're super planning for child number two. What was that expectation versus reality when child number two came and you had everything?
Kind of figured out on the back end of your business, but then daycare for your oldest child shut down. What did that look like? How it actually played out versus how you planned for it to play out.
Kat Tepylo Murphy: That was such a, like, flip from, like, expectations versus reality, so I knew I would most likely, be anxious, struggle a bit postpartum, but felt so confident in the plan that we put together and all the work we had done, and it all started off great, so, like, my first, child, was a traumatic birth, so, you know, Medical interventions, all that stuff wasn't great.
So with my son, I really wanted to have, least interventions, least medical birth that I could. And had him at our midwife clinic. It was this great, redeeming experience. it was almost like, okay, check that off the list. Like, this is going great. but I really struggled with sleep before he was born.
Like, I wasn't sleeping very well, just uncomfortable. Anxious about having a baby, and what we learned like later on, in retrospect, he had a bunch of allergies, reflux, all these things. So he really struggled, learning how to be a baby, and would only sleep at night, being held upright, so that was really an unexpected change.
And then adding on having a three year old home, and not being able to go to Starbucks with a friend or do those things that were kind of, we had expected to have a little bit more of a village and a community. my parents were super involved and that was one of the reasons that we like want half my daughter home too from daycare was my parents are, seniors now, so we didn't want to have any extra risk factors.
So they were a huge help, but I still struggled not being able to sleep. I'm so thankful that I did all the work to take. The business stuff off my plate for that time. I really struggled with sleep. started having like panic attacks all the time. and thankfully my parents came and provided overnight support.
Like we all did shifts in the night. So that was like a really, I don't know if grounding is the right word, but it would kind of really taught me some resilience, and even when you plan and you do all the things that sometimes, you're still going to have to kind of figure it out as you go.
But I think the best thing I did in that situation was like doing all the work beforehand to have the business taken care of. So I was able to take a few weeks off before he was born. and then three months, off after he was born, because, I was in no place to be working, to be, in depth creative work.
and I think me of a couple years ago would have been like, no, we can figure it out, we can make it work. Bye. I think just understanding yourself and giving yourself the grace and the time to rest and take care of yourself.
Kate Christy: Mm hmm. Yeah. And asking for help too, in all those areas, my family has been so involved in my children's lives and helping me, which I'm like, I don't know how I would have been able to have three children and still have a business and still have my head on straight if I didn't have the support of my family around me.
I mean, whatever that looks like to you too, right? Like it could be group of friends. It could be, your neighbors or however your support circle looks like, but having those people that you can just genuinely say, I need X, Y, and Z. And you know that that's not putting them out to, come in and step in and help, has been so huge in parenthood.
I don't know how I could have done it otherwise. I mean, to this day, mom still comes and helps.
Kat Tepylo Murphy: Same, our parents, both my husband and parents are super involved. And for me, it's like really focusing on not comparing myself to others
because there
Kat Tepylo Murphy: are people do it with, you know, a pile of kids and no family around and run a business and things like that, but I can't compare my situation to theirs just as much as I can't compare myself to people who, don't have kids.
Cause that was definitely like the trap I'd fall into that I'd see someone like. pivoting and like launching a new thing and like Instagram has an update and they're creating a bunch of content but Instagram has an update at 5 p. m. and I am making supper with kids and chaos that both of those things are okay for those people but they're not my reality and just having to be okay with it.
Kate Christy: Yeah 100 percent that was something that I struggled with too around filtering. What kind of content I was consuming and watching people who don't have kids, what they're accomplishing. I'm like, man, like they're doing this, that and that, and I feel behind already and they've been in business for, 2 years less than I have.
And they're this much farther ahead than me. And really you have to step back and say. Okay. This is your life. You're the only one experiencing these feelings. You're the only one who can control what you're letting in, what you're consuming and to just free yourself and release yourself of that because at the end of the day, whatever your life looks like, if having your mom come and help is, you know, Creating peace in your life.
And, you're running your business a little bit slower than these other people might be, or maybe you're doing it faster than these other moms, whatever, our journey is our own. And I think when we can release ourselves of. That comparison, which is easier said than done. Right. But yeah, that's something huge that I had to filter out to as a working mom, because I would just be kind of wallowing, I guess, in it a little bit until I was like, why don't I just find moms to follow who are running businesses and not people who don't have kids who are running businesses to do a little more, apples to apples comparison while I'm weaning myself off of this habit that I formed.
,
Kate Christy: so behind the scenes, you talked about your parents being there to support. What does a day to day look like for you to be able to take care of your kids, take care of your business, and take care of yourself?
Kat Tepylo Murphy: Chaos.
so my daughter is five, so she is in kindergarten, so she goes to school Monday to Friday, which is great, and, my son's in full time daycare, so that, the kids are, at their places. and then my husband works as an EA, so an educational assistant. So he works in a school, so he has similar hours to like the kids school and daycare, which is great.
So he's the primary like, picker child wrangler. one of the biggest things that we've made for year, biggest changes, is really trying to prioritize keeping nine to five For me to work. So like last year when my daughter was in I was doing bus drop off and bus pickup.
And so I was only really having five and a half hours, maybe six in day. And expecting myself to work six hours, like to, as you were saying, like as soon as she goes to when she gets back, be working the whole time and not giving myself space, like go for a walk, like all things. And I realized like, I'm running a business.
In 35 a week, and it wasn't adding up. So this year we're really focusing on prioritizing more daytime working hours for me, which looks like having one of our friends watch our daughter twice a week after school. My husband taking a shortened day one day a week, my parents here one night to get her off the bus.
So it is like always, a flow and figuring out, okay, like who's getting who tonight and like. Always figuring it out, but that's like been the biggest change this year is prioritizing those daytime hours. What we're still working on is, when kids are sick because that's always the struggle because it's easiest for me, more flexible, but also hardest in the long run because I'm taking away time from my day, that I can't get back unless it's on the weekend or at night.
So that's the piece we're still figuring out.
Kate Christy: Yeah, a hundred percent that just this past weekend, my family had a family gathering, a family event. And it was kind of up in the air as to whether we were going to do it or not, because a few people had congestion sickness. And I was like, y'all got to be honest on a scale of one to 10.
Like how serious is this? Because any of my children get sick, the three of them do not get sick at the same time they do it in succession one after the other, and this turns into like a two month ordeal and it just. derails things for at least three weeks minimum whenever anyone gets any kind of illness that puts them out of school, puts them out of daycare.
And it sounds so silly, but I'm the only one of our family that owns their own business and does this and I'm like, I probably sound like a diva right now, but you all have no idea what havoc this will wreak on my life.
Kat Tepylo Murphy: Yeah, we don't have paid sick days. There's no one to come in and, cover for but it is really easy for us to be the default because we have the flexibility.
So that's something we're still working on and like, okay, when does it make sense for my husband to take a personal day to watch the kids? And when does it make sense for me to, change things around, but it's hard.
Kate Christy: Yeah, 100%. And I think that's something that I struggled with too, where my husband, he also has, A full time job working for someone else and it's like, is this defaulting to me because I'm the mom?
Is this defaulting to me because I'm, you know, have the flexible job? I said, sometimes it doesn't feel fair that this keeps falling to me, but sometimes that's the reality of it, where that's what has to happen and, trying to find ways to offset that has been really helpful for us where if the kids have been sick or something like that, I'll tell him, I said, like, you are dad solo dad all weekend.
Like that's what's happening. And then also being able to, I don't know, allow myself to break boundaries that I feel are, guess I feel like I should be adhering to right where we have this, Oh, Run your own business, it's flexible, you can work from the beach, you can work whenever you want, da, but then there's also this like, weird, shaming around working after hours, or working on the weekends, and, I don't subscribe to that.
My, uh, We need
Kat Tepylo Murphy: to do like
Kate Christy: our own,
Kat Tepylo Murphy: find what works
Kate Christy: for us. Right, and so then whenever I have a week where a kid has been home or two kids have been home or whatever, right, to be able to say, I need to work this weekend so that I'm not losing my mind. Next week, I need to get myself in a position where I feel right with myself, where I've got the bare minimum of work that I need to get done, done.
And just really releasing myself of, well, we don't work on weekends anymore because we, figured that out. It's like, no bitch. this is what we're doing this weekend. It's fine.
Kat Tepylo Murphy: And for me, it's like, yeah, teaching myself that it's okay. And then I can't do both. Like I can't. Be the person that has the flexible schedule and the person, running a successful agency, and like, put those both in their own little boxes and never let them, overlap.
But, like, if I'm take the time off with my kids when they're sick, that's great and I'm super, glad I'm able to do that, but That does mean that I have to, like, take a day on the weekend to work, and I'm like, that's okay, they don't have to be their own silos that never, like, interfere or interact with each other.
Kate Christy: Mm hmm. I think something that I've struggled with, too, in this kind of area that we're talking about is there's no limit. To what our business is capable of, right? In terms of the money, it brings in the type of work that we're doing, we can hire people, we can create all kinds of different offer services, programs, whatever, right?
Sky's the limit. And so when you look at it through that lens, you're like. I'm not saddled by any parameters other than my capacity or my team's capacity, right? But then when you look at, I'm the one who's flexible, so I'm the one who always has to sideline business in order to take care of the kids, which, I mean, we love our children, nothing against them, right?
that's what happens. And then you're kind of like, well. This just slows down progress towards that next goal, and that's a real thing that moms struggle with, and I feel like sometimes we're scared to say things like that out loud, because like, oh, maybe someone's gonna think I'm a terrible mom if I'm bummed because I'm having to take care of a sick kid instead of getting one step closer to launching this, this campaign.
thing that's going to make me more money, make me work less, whatever it is. And, having those two things coexist, right. Allowing those two things to coexist, is something that is a struggle.
Kat Tepylo Murphy: Yeah. And for me, it's like balancing expectations, like knowing that I'm still in a period of raising small children and that They're enjoy every moment, they're only young once type of stuff that's said to moms.
But at the same time, realizing that this will not always be my reality. That there'll be a day when the kids come home from school. They're both in school. They come home and they play independently for a bit. And they, won't need us like every second of the day. So it's both like accepting it but also making sure that I don't, Stop myself from like doing those next things in my business that I am still like working towards, but also like recognizing that what I'm doing right now is really hard, having small children and running a business or like two of the hardest things you can do in life and we're doing them the same time.
So it's like accepting that it's going to be hard. And for me, I'm always like, okay. Once I get through this week, it will be better, or like, when I do this thing, that's when, like, it'll be easy, and what I'm realizing and, like, having to learn right now is that it's gonna be hard for a while, and it's gonna feel messy for a long time, so just becoming, like, more comfortable with that idea that, it's okay that it's hard, just because it's hard doesn't mean that I'm doing it wrong, or that I should be doing something different, it's just hard, and that's what it is.
Kate Christy: Mm hmm. Yeah, just accepting this is the reality right now, it's really hard, but it's not always going to be like this. Totally. I was having a conversation with my husband around just being bummed about the restraint of what I could do. In my business to grow my business. And it's like, you know, I can really only focus on one goal at a time.
And as a creative, I'm like, I have a hundred goals. I have a hundred things that could work. Right. And then I was listening to another podcast and I can't remember which one it was, but they were talking about just pick one thing. If you pick one thing and you pursue it, it can be successful.
And I was like, Oh, I love that. But still being able to put stuff on the back burner and be okay with it. And, just feeling both allowing yourself to feel both. It's neither right, no wrong or whatever. Right. It just is. And, being okay with that is I think that lesson that. it's always going to exist, right?
We're always going to be in this state of, this is the phase that my kids are in, this is the phase that my business are in. These are the things that are working really well. These are the things that are not working so well. , it's what happens when you're doing these two things in tandem.
Kat Tepylo Murphy: And not feeling like a failure for putting something on the back burner. Likethere will be time and capacity for it. And it's just giving yourself the grace, taking care of yourself enough to know like, this isn't the time for it.
Kate Christy: Yeah, 100%. And I think I'm going to really take what you said earlier to heart around time does not equal capacity instead of asking myself, what do I have the time to do?
I'm like, what can I actually do, with my brain power that I have in this state, in this phase of life?
Kat Tepylo Murphy: It changes so much our day to day even another thing I'm trying to like figure out too is like how like my cycle plays into it that's been a whole game changer this year is like learning more about my and like how rude it is of me to expect the same thing from my body and my brain every single day when I'm on a hormonal rollercoaster for 28 days so like I think that's also something we need to like learn more about and give ourselves more grace on is that one day you might be like knocking it out the park doing awesome but if next day like your cycle's different and you You can't beat yourself up because you can't do the same things you did the day before or the week But we're taught that every day we need to be doing all the things and doing it the same, but like, our bodies are literally, not made like that.
Kate Christy: Yeah, 100 percent. And the fact that we Are trying to fit into this nine to five, like 24 hour cycle world as a business center, especially as a creative business owner.
Right? That is silly. Because we do not operate the same every single day, like a male does, right? Like their body is 24 hour cycle, right? Where ours is 28 day cycle or, whatever specific to you and trying to plan your business around that. But that feels like a very, I don't know, scary thing.
I think this. Kind of is how I felt around really owning that. I'm a mom as a business owner, before I would share about my kids, but it wasn't part of my stick, right? It wasn't like, um, a mom and a business center. It was like, oh, I'm a business owner, business owner. Like, also I have kids and, I think I really struggled with that because I was like, I need to fit into this mold that exists.
And that's not why we build our own businesses. That was silly, Kate. But, taking yourself and pushing beyond those barriers that are set, those molds that are set, and trying to build a business that's not like anything you've ever seen before can be super scary. And then just kind of Saying, okay, well, I'm going to plan my business on a 28 day cycle.
Feels crazy on paper, right? Where you're like, okay, well, this week I'm not going to talk to anyone. I'm going to be unavailable to clients. I'm like, gasp, like I'm unavailable. People are going to leave. People are going to be mad, but I think it really boils down to. Transparency and conversation and communication around it.
Because once I. Started leaning more into being a mom and having those conversations with people saying, Hey, my kids are sick this week. I'm going to be really low productivity. I'm going to get done what needs to get done. Thank you for understanding. No one has ever been like, how dare you take care of your kids and not take care of me.
putting out that information, keeping that communication open as to this is, What's happening behind the scenes in my business. There's three children. One of them may be around. You may hear them. They may come hop in on a zoom meeting with us. just leaning into that has felt so much easier for me as a business owner.
And I think That's probably the case for a lot of women in business because we tend to do business with women in business. Right. And so if you and I were working together, neither one of us would have a problem whatsoever around children, ups, downs, whatever, but it's still like, when you step into that role of business owner, you're kind of like, oh, this is kind of scary to do something that I haven't seen modeled for me before.
Right. So that's what I love so much about having these conversations too, right? Is, maybe we can all band together and put together the 28 day business plan.
Kat Tepylo Murphy: Please. And I think it's like, we lived and grown up in this world that teaches like, this is the way it's done. And we put all this unneeded pressure on ourselves that like, Oh, I can't tell people that my kid's sick, or I can't reschedule this, but I'm really Be more open, into a bit more.
And for the most part, every single person is understanding. And like, we would give that grace to other people. Like if someone told me their kid is sick, we're like, Oh yeah, no problem. But we put unneeded pressure on ourselves that like, no, they expect me to show up. But everyone, we're all just like trying to figure out life and like are so supportive.
And I even had a client say to me. I can't remember what the, like, situation was, not sure if I had, like, missed an email or something, but they're like, oh, like, literally no worries, we really are, the words they used were doing business in a more feminine way, and I just loved that, because I'm like, this is the people that I want to work with that are, like, understanding when something gets missed because a kid is sick or, whatever the case is, That is life and we can't fake it.
And it's so much better when we're like open and people are understanding.
Kate Christy: Yeah. And if we're not careful with how we're building our businesses, we can fall into those predetermined frameworks and cycles. And then one day you're like, Oh crap. Well, like I'm still working as if I'm working for someone else and doing things that I swore I would never do in my business.
Right. And it's. a tricky ride, interesting ride, right? Because you have to really be conscious around stepping outside of those norms, or, being really intentional about that, building it in a way that makes sense for you, not, and I think too, something that I've struggled with is.
Making decisions based on clients, not based on me, Because when you get in that one to one service, I'm serving this client, but separating, I'm offering a service, not I am your servant, That's something that I've, I don't know. Struggle feels like a strong word, but really been trying to be conscious of when I'm reshifting how I'm offering one to one services is okay.
Like, I can create boundaries. I can create, containers that people need to stay inside of. And if they get outside of it, that's okay. But that means it costs more money or it takes longer or I'm unavailable for that. And I can refer them to someone else. Yeah, like making sure that I'm not running myself ragged being of service to my clients when I'm offering them a service.
Does that make sense?
Kat Tepylo Murphy: Totally. And that like, we're allowed to have boundaries, even as the service provider, that can say no to certain things, we set those, boundaries of hours and scope of projects and like, Just having the confidence to be like, yeah, this is what you get from working with me and holding that up and making sure that you stay, accountable to those boundaries.
Kate Christy: Yeah. So I like to ask most people that come on, how mom guilt may or may not show up in their lives. Is that something that resonates or you're like mom guilt? What's that? Oh
Kat Tepylo Murphy: no, trust me, I know. Boba Felt and I are old pals. It's something that I've like, constantly been working on. I feel like I'm in a lot of a place with it right now.
Like, even that idea of working nine to five and taking that extra hour and a half of work time in the day that first I was like, Oh, but I could, make it work. But it's like, no, I am a human as well. And I deserve to have my needs met and take care of myself. but, I definitely still feel, especially like, I went away for the weekend, and like, should I go, those type of questions, but I'm really, have realized this year is like, the whole, I know the analogy, is so overused, but the idea of, putting your own oxygen mask on first is like, I can't be a good mom to them unless I take time to be a good person, and I'm still figuring out, like, what do I enjoy, and like, what fills up my cup outside of Being a mother and working.
So I'm still like, yeah, playing around with different hobbies. But like in the last year I've taken art classes. I played baseball for the first time with a friend. and was really bad at it, but I had a lot of fun. it's like all those little things. every Sunday this summer, I left before dinner, went and played baseball for two hours.
And like, That is okay. Me doing that is giving so much more to our family than if I was home for dinner that day. So that's been like the biggest piece for me is like, Figuring out who I am and making sure that I have the space and the time to figure out what fills up my cup.
Kate Christy: That's funny. My son who's almost nine was grilling me last, not last night, maybe the night before about hobbies.
He's like, what are your hobbies? And I was like, I don't have any. He's like, what do you mean? I said, well, I work and I take care of you because you need some hobbies. I said, well, what do you suggest child? And he's like, I don't know. He could play video games. I was like, nah, pass. What else? He's like, that's all I got.
But it was really funny. Yeah, it was. I was like very wise, but I will pass on your recommendation, but yes, noted. I will look into that. And my therapist also said the same thing to me that I needed to get some hobbies because I am a designer and so I get a lot of joy out of what I do. And so then my go to fun time is something that relates to design, which it's not technically stepping away from work.
I do find a lot of joy working in my business when I make time to do that. And then even this is just kind of a passion project of mine. So it, Is work because it takes time and it takes energy, but at the same time I'm like, oh, this is for fun. So maybe this is my hobby.
Kat Tepylo Murphy: Yeah, it's like okay to have like work adjacent hobbies, but trying to figure out like what's the like random thing that you like that makes no sense.
So for me this year, it was like. Playing baseball, or like, I like a good puzzle, like those things that are like completely, like, let you shut off the work brain,
but
Kat Tepylo Murphy: it took me a long, it's still taking me time to figure out like what those things are, and also just being okay with taking that time when it's like, oh, I could clean the house, or I could,
go write an email or something. But it's like, no, actually this puzzle right now is really important.
Kate Christy: I think something that I didn't entirely understand about becoming an adult was I had to be in control of my schedule. Right. Because when you're a kid and you're going to school and you're playing sports, you're doing extracurriculars, your schedule's established for you, right?
And your parents are setting your schedule. And then you go to college and you get a class schedule, or then you go to work and your boss is setting, nine to five, right? But when you're running your own business, you're like, I can do anything. But then you're like, Oh my gosh, I can do anything.
But then taking it a step further and scheduling your life. Right. Because. The things that we tend to put on our calendar, everything that I put on my calendar that is a client event, I'm like, Oh, I've got to be there. I've got to be on time. I've got to be doing the thing that I said I was going to do.
But when it comes to, putting in 30 minutes to go on a walk or putting in 30 minutes to do whatever this hobby is that I'm going to start doing, right. Even if it's like on the evenings or the weekend or whatever, but I guess I didn't realize how much I had to write down what I was supposed to do as an adult.
Kat Tepylo Murphy: I, like, everything lives in my calendar and it's like everything for work, everything for the kids, everything for the family. But what we don't usually put in our calendar is like things for us, like, unless it's like adult appointment that we put off for three months, but like, it would feel so silly to put paint.
Cause you're like, Oh, I'll just paint when I feel inspired. But it's like, realistic. That's never going to happen. Like you need to say like Tuesdays at seven o'clock I am painting. And like, there's some days where you might hate it for the first 10 minutes and like, you might not want to, but like.
We need to put that time in for ourselves or else it just never will get done.
Kate Christy: One thing that I did start the other day was my daughter is almost two and my mother put together a little cross stitch kit for party favors for the baby shower. So I finally broke that thing out. I was like, Oh, I'm going to do this cross stitch thing.
And as I was doing it, I said, I like this. This is methodical. But at the same time, I was like, sitting worse than I do when I sit at my desk. And I was like, I don't think this is a good hobby for me to adopt. I need to do something that is not just continuing this growing, , hunchback that I'm working on while I'm sitting at my desk.
But I did dabble in that a little bit the other day. going to put that on my to do list this week for, finding some hobbies.
Kat Tepylo Murphy: And even just like putting some time in your calendar to like, out, I'll play around with a few things or like do some like Googling my biggest tip with it is like, if financially available to you, it's like signing up for a class of something when you have like an external, not pressure, but accountability, it makes you so much more likely.
Cause like, I have always been a creative person. I have this awesome craft room and. never used it. So my husband signed me up for art classes, and then I did the first one, and it was awesome, like the first session, and then I was going to sign up for the next, spring semester, and then I was like, you know what, no, I have all the stuff, I could just do it at home.
He's like, Babe, you've never done this. It was like sign up for the class. Cause then at least you're like accountable, you're getting you're doing different things. So if it's possible, like that's always a great way to is signing up, even if it's for like a one night thing, like a pottery class or something random.
And then you can see like, Hey, do I like this? Do I not? And. Just figure out like, do you actually enjoy doing? That's really hard to figure out as a business owner and a mom.
Kate Christy: Yeah. And I think it's something that, like you said about, not enjoying it at first or being bad at it at first, I think that can be a really hard thing, especially the older we get and the more into our routines of life that we get, that it can be really hard to be bad at something.
And especially me being a designer and a web designer, I was like, I'm going to make a font. And so then I start going and doing this thing and I'm like, this is hard. And so then I would stop because I'm like, I know logistically how to do this, but this creative part of me drawing these letters on an iPad with procreate is proving to be very difficult for me.
it's really easy to just put it down, right. And walk away from it because I guess the better we get at our craft, if it, as a business owner or whatever we're doing, right. The harder it is to be bad at something. And I think allowing us or baking in that time to be bad at it and be okay with it or getting that mindset, right.
Because I think we will pass up on things or give up on things way easily, because it's like, well, this is too much work. This is too hard. And then pushing out those thoughts of. This feels like a waste of time, right? Like quotation marks, waste of time our waste of time and money for me to go do this art class because I have supplies at home and I have the space to do it at home.
But the reality is, what are you gaining from that experience? Right? what are the positive, like, trickle down effect that's happening because you're getting out of the house. You're meeting new people. You're learning something new. And also, like, Neurologically, learning new stuff.
It's got to be great for our brain. I don't know this. I'm not a doctor.
Kat Tepylo Murphy: I'm going to vouch for that and say definitely like, I would make a good generalization, but I think as like moms and women in business, generally lean towards like type overachievers and we, want to the best at our business.
We want to be great parents. the idea of being bad at something. It's the most uncomfortable thing that we can think of. And so my best friend, who's like a big baseball player, was like, wanna play baseball, I wanna play this summer, my first instinct was like, way. I'm be so bad at it.
But she convinced me. I had so much fun. And like, not very much better at it. But like, even just the process of practicing a new skill, like using my brain and my body in a different way, like It adds so much extra to our lives, and like, having my kids come watch me at a game and stuff, I was like, this is what I want to show them, is mom's running a badass business, mom's an awesome mom, and mom is a cool person, and like, is doing things for herself, that it doesn't have to just be like, one or two of those things, that they can see me doing all three.
Kate Christy: No, I love that because I know one of the big reasons a lot of us moms go into business for ourselves is we want to show our kids that whatever they want can be available to them, right. In terms of what type of job they want, or if they want to build a certain business or they don't have to fit into any kind of mold because we made our own way and we did things the way that we wanted to, that supported us and supported our family and supported them.
And I think that's. Super cool. I used to play on a rec league softball team back in the day prior to kids. So those were some of the hobbies that I had. maybe I could get back into the sports games. Maybe next
Kat Tepylo Murphy: summer. Yeah. Softball is just fun. Like it's something different to do. And like so much of our lives are focused on business and babies.
Like we need to have that time to focus on ourselves.
Kate Christy: Yeah. And I think we all know we need it. We all want it. Right. And sometimes it can feel stressful asking for it, whatever that looks like, right?feeling like you're pushing responsibility onto your partner or calling people in, in your circle to help.
But I think at the end of the day, everyone is just really eager to help us if we let them, which is kind of silly because we really do put. restraints on us for asking for help. Like, no, like I can do it. I can do it all. Like I'm going to white knuckle this and I'm going to get it done. But asking for help is a lot easier.
So if you can ask for help, that's my advice for today's episode, ask for help.
Kat Tepylo Murphy: Yeah. Saves you a lot of burnout and overwhelmed. There's so many times I'm like, Oh, well, if I had just asked for help earlier, this would have been a lot easier. And so that's something I also I'm working on.
Kate Christy: And as it pertains to business too, like.
I think that we can sometimes feel like if we're asking for help, or we're saying we don't know something or we need to pull in another expert or another person to figure this out, that it is a poor reflection on us. I don't think that's true because I think that. It kind of boils down to being transparent and being honest and keeping those lines of communication open right about being really honest.
I know. I don't know the answer to that, but I can figure it out for you. I can find someone who can, when the roles are reversed and you're in that scenario. I've never thought. Well, this person doesn't know what they're doing. I'm like, oh, this person's not just lying to me and making me think they know what they're doing.
Like, allowing yourself
Kat Tepylo Murphy: to be human.
Kate Christy: And with kids too, right? one of the things that I thought growing up was that my parents knew everything, right? Or adults knew everything. And not to any fault of their own, right? That was my perception. I don't know why I created it, but. I I'm trying really hard as a parent to let my kids know I don't know everything.
Adults don't know everything, right? Like, it's okay to question something, if something feels conflicting to you, right? Like, Question it, you're never getting in trouble with me questioning why I say something or why are you getting punished for this? Or why is this happening?
Or why can't we do this or whatever? I want them to be curious, and I want them to feel like they have a voice too. Right? And not that I know everything because I feel like, in the world that we're living in raising kids who think all adults are correct all the time feels really scary.
Kat Tepylo Murphy: Yeah. Yeah, and so it's like giving ourselves. It's permission to, I said it before, but like be a human that the unrealistic expectations that we put on ourselves come from society, but they also come from ourselves. Like if you were to ask a friend or a client or someone or your partner, like what do you expect of me?
Or like, what do you think about this situation? 99 percent of the time, they're not going to have the same expectations of you that you have of you. So it's like trying to think, how would you talk to a friend about this? Or talk to a client and give yourself that same permission.
Kate Christy: Yeah, we're way, way harder on ourselves and hold ourselves to a much higher standard than we hold any other human being on the face of the planet, which is kind of crazy.
Yeah. It's not really fair. No. Shame on us. Treat ourselves better. Yeah. Girls. so a few last questions before we wrap up. What is something that Well, kind of like a high and low. What is something that you are most proud of when it comes to raising kids and running your business? But also on the flip side of that, something that you feel like you struggle the most or that you're like, it's on the forefront of this is what I'm really focusing on working through right now.
Kat Tepylo Murphy: Well, my high definitely was taking leave with my second. So like doing the work and I think I hit my first K year year, the year I took my leave. So that was like just such a great, culmination of. Making a plan and setting a goal and like showing myself that it's okay to take a break, like to take care of yourself.
So that was definitely like my big win. And something I'm continuously working on is the not comparing myself. Because I definitely struggle with that about what I should be doing or where I should be in business. My therapist told me that should is could wrapped in shame. And Yeah, I was like, Ooh, that's what I'm like, reminding myself that other people run their businesses differently, and that's good for them.
But like, this is how I'm running my business. This is why I'm choosing to focus on. So that's like my low or thing I'm focusing on is like to stop beating myself up so much as I've talked about throughout this whole episode, like, Giving myself grace, reminding myself that I'm a human and like not putting all these freaking unrealistic expectations on myself all the time.
Kate Christy: Mm hmm. Yeah, so with the type of work you do though, you're in social media day in and day out. How do you Yeah. Protect yourself, how do you separate or protect yourself creatively, energetically, when you're in that all day.
Kat Tepylo Murphy: I really worked on setting some good boundaries in terms of like phone use and like social media use.
I have the times that I'm in it and like checking in on stuff, but also like when I'm deep. thinking of strategy, creating content. I'm not on Instagram or on my phone because, like, I can't be creative and be consuming at the same time. So, like, that's a really important, switch I've made.
And I've also, like, On my own accounts, like, unfollowed, a ton of people are muted that, like, oh, they're an expert or, like, someone I should be following. But it's, like, no, like, their content makes me feel bad every time I see it because I feel like I'm not good enough. I'm, like, they have no right to be on my feed.
So it's, like, just turning it away that, maybe if I ever want to go check it out, I could. But they don't need to be something that I see
Kate Christy: when I'm scrolling. yeah, that's good advice around not consuming while you're creating because I think those lines especially with everything in our fingertips all the time is like, oh, well, I'm going to create this.
But wait a minute. What's this person doing or what's over here on Pinterest or what's their website look like? And what are they saying about their service? And it's really hard to differentiate between Inspiration and then falling into that comparison or spiraling out of control.
Yeah, I don't want that. Yeah, not at all. okay, I want to ask about this because you talked about how you really planned for your maternity leave the second time around. And I think that something that perspective really changed around was the concept of what my time was worth after having kids.
And I know like the first time out of the gates, you're like, it'll work out. It'll be fine. But then having this child and seeing how much time and energy needs to be dedicated to this child. And want to dedicate to this part of your life. But there's also this other part of you that's building this business that you love that you want to dedicate time and energy to.
So how did your perspective around what your time was worth, taking that exchange from, I'm taking time away from being a mom to be a business owner for someone to pay me for whatever service I'm doing. Like what was that mindset shift when you had kids and like what your time was worth after that?
Kat Tepylo Murphy: It's been an ongoing juggle experience and it's like my therapist has really helped with this but my prices like since my second was born have like probably close to doubled and is I think a really cool thing to think about that It's not a detriment to my career but really I put so much power and creativity into that and like making sure that I'm charging that that's like reflected in my prices and that just because I have two small children and I'm a really cool mom doesn't mean it make me any less of a business owner and that like I deserve to be well paid for the great work I do and that's like, I was super uncomfortable about raising my rates.
But it was really kind of an epiphany of moment. Whereas I was just like in this burnout cycle of working too much, not making enough money to take on more work because I really want to help businesses and all that kind of stuff. But in order to do my best I need to be able to give myself the space and the time and the effort to put into projects.
So that was like the biggest change was really, Knowing my worth, realizing how many hours I'm actually working on a project that, sometimes I would be like, oh yeah, it's about this much time, but when I really like sat down and did the math, I'm like, oh, I'm putting a lot into these projects and making sure that is accounted for in my pricing.
Kate Christy: I too have fallen into that trap of like, Oh, this is how much time it'll take. And then when you actually track your time, you're like, Ooh, it takes twice that much time. Kate, you silly, silly goose.
Yeah. Oh man. Okay. So, um. What is one little nugget of advice that you would give to a working mom who's working on building their business currently?
Kat Tepylo Murphy: That is a really good question. I think what I would give is like some encouragement that I, you wish had heard or, that I need to give myself more often to that is, it's okay that it takes time and that it's hard.
That we, especially right now on Instagram and like the culture we live in, we see a lot of content that's like, here's how you make your first 10k month or like, oh, here's my eight second video. And now making all this passive income from this. Canva product here.
Like there's a lot of shame put on us that like, why aren't you selling digital products and becoming a millionaire? And that I think puts so much pressure on us, it's not the reality of it. That's like, it's okay. That's taking you time. And it's okay that it's hard that there aren't. Really quick fixes out there as much as people are trying to sell you on their products and their courses that there are in reality, like growing a business, raising babies, it takes time and it's going to be hard sometimes, but that's okay.
And you're not doing anything wrong.
Kate Christy: That's solid advice.
Kat Tepylo Murphy: I'm really fed up with the like, passive income, digital product stuff going on Instagram that like, as someone who, has developed different digital downloads and stuff like that, it is the opposite of passive. There's so much work that goes into it and these people just, selling lies online.
It's really hard because it, is, Targeted to and it really pulls on moms who are trying to grow their businesses and trying to, like, sell a quick fix when, you're not doing anything wrong because it's taking time and that it's hard.
Kate Christy: Yeah, and I think that concept of the magic bullet, it's, we all want it, but really.
The magic bullet is time and effort and energy and, pursuing it, right? that's the only way that you're going to get to that goal, right? that can be a hard pill to swallow, especially when you're juggling a lot of different things at the same time, right? You're trying to make sure that your kids are taken care of.
You're trying to make sure that you're taken care of and that your house is not in shambles 24 seven, but, PSA, my house is in shambles life. Six days outta the week full time. Okay, so no one think I have it together, , but You want to jump the line when you don't have a lot of time, when you don't have a lot of energy and you are so true about that, where there's so much noise out there around, just do this and you'll have X, Y, and Z and five steps to get here easily and take this program and all this stuff.
And there's, so much, they've just really collapsed the starting line and the finish line. And. Every single thing that has to happen in the middle is the fine print, or, you got to dig to find that information or maybe that information is not out there at all. so then you've purchased this course, you've purchased this thing, and then you do get to that other side of working through it.
And you're like, well, my dreams are not coming true right now. What have I done wrong? And that's a really shitty feeling, right? when you're sold this, magic bullet, so to speak, right? And then you do everything you're supposed to do. And you're like, well, that didn't work for me. what's wrong with me.
Right. Not what's wrong with what happened with this person who sold me this thing that didn't work out. Right. Or what's wrong with this business model as it relates to me. Right. And that's a, hard lesson that I've learned just not being a mom, like being a business owner, right. Around Sometimes how people do business does not work for me, period, right?
Their schedules or their processes or whatever, just do not align. And they do not fit with me because I'm a totally different human being, right? My brain works a different way. My body functions in a different way, right? Like I am really productive in the morning. Some people are really productive in the evening.
Like we can't keep acting as if we can all function exactly the same, And I think that. When you do buy that course or that program or whatever, and it doesn't work for you. Yeah, you can really beat yourself up like you said, and maybe it wasn't meant for you and that's okay.
Kat Tepylo Murphy: Yeah. Your journey is unique and can't be summed up in a ebook or a quick course. It's like it takes time and that is okay.
Kate Christy: Mm hmm. Indeed. Well, Kat, thank you so much for giving me so much of your time and your energy. I'm really grateful for it as we all have a limited time to others as working moms.
So I really do appreciate you coming on and chatting with me about your story. And will you let everyone know where they can connect with you, how they can work with you, where they can find you online?
Kat Tepylo Murphy: How I really appreciate you having me today. II'm so passionate about talking about this because I think we don't talk about it enough as like women in business, all the stuff that we're managing and how hard it is, but how awesome it is.
So thank you for having me. So I am online at socialcatmedia and that's cat with a K. I hang out mostly on Instagram, but you can also find me online at socialcatmedia. com.
Kate Christy: Perfect. Thanks, Kat. Thanks, Kate.